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Snake People: The Fictional multi-directional, omni-perspective version.

Rojam sat under a tree in the middle of his woods, admiring the trees, the breeze, and the traquility. He closed his eyes for just a brief moment, taking a deep breath and taking in the frangrance of the wood.

"Rojam! Wake the fuck up!" A familiar voice says from the right of him.

Hand on his sword, he turns his head slowly and opens his eyes. Of course, i should have known.

"I swear to fucking christ Chrys, im going to kick you in the nuts if you do that again." Rojam snaps at Chrys, spittle flying from his mouth. "What do you want?"

"All i wanted to tell you was that half-snake, half people are invading our castle again." Chrys says crossing his arms. Looking around Rojam sees the Castle in the distance. "I believe they are called Nagas, Chrys. Snakes with human heads." retorts rojam.

"No they are men, that have Snakes head and tail.. covered in scales wearing great scale armor.. of .. scales." Chrys scratches his head in comtempt.

"Round up the 16 Men of the Snake and gather them in the Great Hall. Quickly." Saying the last word slowly, because thats the right thing to do when speaking to a half-wit like Chrys with a Y. Nodding his head, Chrys runs away towards the castle weaving thru trees. Pushing himself on the hilt of his sword, Rojam yawns and stoops down to pick up his helmet next to a brown patch of roots.

Walking over the main gate Roajm recognizes his friend and partner in this war, Sir Fats, otherwise known as Fats. Raising his hand in the air, Fats steers his walking in Rojam's direction.

"I was looking for B, and all i could find was Crazy A, and it so happened that he is naked." Fats points across the moat just as A's naked ass dispears inside the castle.

"I guess we meet inside then. Oh and by the way, your fat is making me blind."

Everyone takes their places at the Great Halls long table. Sixteen places have been set for 16 knights. Swords and other weapons are placed on the table as a sign of peace. No mouth is quiet.

"Chrys, you have the floor." Rojam says as he sits down quietly. B enters the room, his giant armor clanking noisily. "Guys, there are all kinds of Snake People outside, i think we should open up the drawbridge and kill them all!" Brian yells as Chrys stands up. Everyone bangs their cups on the table in approval.

"How do we know they dont want to talk to us? Maybe they need help fighting off Nagas in their own country?" Some Oaf in the corner blurts out.

Silence.

"So we kill them all then?" B looks around for some kind of acknowlegement. All eyes are on the b-man.

"Its up to you B, i could care less about some Snake People." Rojam lifts his cup as he speaks.

"Im sorry i cant concentrate. Fats in blurring my judgement with his fat." Tyler says rubing his eyes.

"Lets send a messanger out to them, so we can know their demands." Oaf chimes in once again.

"Fat does that to you man." Crazy naked A says, looking at Fats.

Two of the Sixteen members of the snake make their way up to the very east battlement looking down upon the hundreds of Snake People. Three female looking snake people near the front of the battlement look back up. Maybe they are the leaders. The female snake peeps put their hands to their mouths.

"We need your help!" They call in unison.

"Dude, they have really big boobies... and.. they need help or something." The three men look at each other, and back down at the boobies in distress.

About 2 hours later, after the 16 men of the snake let the Snake People in, peace had been met. All they wanted was help to fight their cousins the Naga. Obviously they were jealous that the Snake People had arms and feet. A great war broke out and the Naga kicked their ass. Forced to look for help, the three Princess' of the Snake People sought out the humans for help.

Soon after B, Fats, and Rojam fell in love with the three princess' of the Snake People delegation. They married soon after and had children, who did not look like snakes, but they had instincts, quickness, and ability to drink ale like the Snake People. They hand eye coordination was doubled, their ability to drink was increased 10 fold. Drinking. Oh yes Drinking.

Over the years the Snake People ended up being slaughtered by the Naga and its decendents. The Snake People lived on though, through the blood of those liasons between three men of the snake.

1600 years later, the decendents of the 16 Men of the Snake were reincanated. Starting with a young man named Brian who woke up in his sleep, disturbed by a strange dream about snakes, and Nintendo. His friend Major was already over his house playing NES in his adjecent room.

"I had this really fucked up dream about snakes playing NES man. It was so fucked up." Brian explains while putting his contact lenses in.

"Well call me a snake, cause im playing NES." Major says pausing Contra so he can grab another morning beer.

Little did Brian and Major know, they were reliving their past. They still had the blood of the Snake People in them. The next day Tyler, Matt, Major, and Brian were in their normal hang out, The Room.

"We love NES so much, we should start some sort of group.. like a club or something." Major says watching Tyler and Matt play 2-player Snake Rattle and Roll.

Brian remembers his dream. "I think we should have it to do with snakes." Snake Rattle and Roll on in the background.

"My fucking orange balls bitch. MINE BIG TOUNG MINE BALL!" Tyler yells at matt 2 inches from his face.

"Snake People?" major suggests. ".. Snake People..... NES Masters?" Brian takes a look around the room to make sure everyone has seen his genius choice of a club name. "Man thats soo good! fucking sweet." Matt nods his head, stealing all the orange balls.

"So i guess thats it then, Snake People: NES Masters. We will have a website, and bring in members only if they can put up with our shit and be really good at nintendo. Its all about the Nintendo." Major rambles on, no one listens.

At that moment, crazy A opens the sliding glass door, bottle of jack daniels in his hand. "Dude there better be some coke in your fridge.. im not shooting this entire bottle again." He says shaking the jack bottle in front of Tylers face. Crazy A sees brian making a 3-D Snake people on the computer, and asks what it is.

"Man, its Snake People. We are Snake People."

"Hell yeah nigga."

So i guess thats how it happened. I made up the first part because i had a day dream at work, but the last part is almost 100% accurate. We were playing snake rattle and roll and Crazy A sure as fuck had some jack. Little P was in for a while, but we kicked him out because he is gay. No one really liked little P. He was allright at NES tho, ill give him that.