This month im reviewing Gradius, Life Force, and Salamander. I love these three games, and they are definetly worth looking at. Also added PC Engine screen shots and other history. W/rom downloads.
Click here to see the Gradius review
This weeks spotlight review is Bible Adventures. Oaf serves up a funny review w/pics and Rom dowload!
Click the fuck here for your Bible Adventure!
Play some castlevania already.
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Im proud to say that todays review is on the kick ass game of Gauntlet. I played this game alot with my friend Eric back when i lived in vermont.. he stole all the items and i always got killed by death. I made it to lvl 100 wihout cheating, which is some kind of forest lvl with no exit. Go figure.
The ghost is like "look, i dropped a potion just for you!"
Purple demon, i want to kill you so good in the mouth.
Is there any other player to pick? I keep hitting right and seeing Robin fucking hood.
Elf NOOOOOO!!! Why god.. why do you always have to shoot the food.
Okay, this is getting out of hand. At this point i quit playing, just long enough to get a final screen shot of elf going on his own, on some treasure destroying quest. Im all like.. "Stop elf! Damn you my treasure! In the face!"
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Today we will be reviewing a game that isn't the worst but is equally hateable amongst the ranks, this game is ICE CLIMBERS.
Look i don't even have a high score. Why? Because i hate this game.
Oh look the first level of the game how exciting, I wonder what I should maybe i'll start chopping away at the blocks of ice or wait for some cute little excotic animals to bash on the head.
I choose to kill nature, because this game and nature go hand in hand and i hate them both.
WTF? what is the sea lion doing? i'm not sure but i already feel better about myself having killed something, time to progress..
All right skip the bullshit lets get straight to the bonus stage.
Damnit I missed the jump and now i'm dead, aww no bonus and i'm crying god i suck must be all that dick to dick sex.
Well it's a game over. Either i'm terrible at ice climbers or the game just sucks so bad i'm not trying, oh well now it just gives me more time to play Simon's Quest; vampires are better than ice anyway.
This weeks spotlight is on the ghettofabalis game of Dragon Warrior 2. Why no DW1 you ask? well it just so happened i was playing DW2 on emulator, and this worked out great for me. This game kicks ass. Better than the first one.
Nice intro screen. I should have made an aminated GIF of them walking towards..umm. the screen.
This is me in town, not knowing where to go next. I refuse to look at the walkthru.
Oh shit its a bunch of big rats! Rats. Ill tear them up real quick.
WTF. A dragonfly killed me. For gods sake im equiped with a sword.
What how do i get a fucking ticket!? Man.
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Well after my adventures in the land of.. whatever, ive learned a couple of things.
Dragonflys might as well be real dragons.
You cant play the lottery without a ticket.
You dont have to eat, or goto the bathroom.
Two stange people follow you, and you can never turn towards them.
This weeks spotlight game of the week is, Metal Gear. I remember when my brother Jared and I would play this game for hours, i could never get enough. I hated typing in the long passwords. Well, with save state i dont have to worry about this. What a great game. Poorly translated engrish, and very unique game play. I still dont know why you cant smoke the smokes. They give you a pack at the beginning of the game for christs sake!
What a great start up screen, aviod the password screen at all costs.
I know this is supposed to be an elevator, but give me a damn break. I hope "R" means roof.
Hey what the...! The wind is all kinds of blowing me back. Damn those invisible air -jet things.
By this time im just looking for loot. Kiss my ass white cloning-vat peoples! Check out the camera, thats how you know im busted.
Okay so i didnt get away. I think im done with this game, off to play more Contra.
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Our first's weeks spotlight will be on a game i just played, called Gun Smoke. Gun Smoke is a great game with lots of generic baddies, awesome controls and endless gameplay. I think i played this game for 2 hours.
Press start? okay.
Yeah! Get that fucking loot. Check me going for the loot.
This level is after i beat up the black guy with the boomerang. Fucking indians!
So after i killed all the indians and black people, i walk into the sunset with my horse whom died on several occasions....
