Crash Test Dummies...
Ok, finally another game review from Oaf! (applause) For this review, I randomly picked a game out of my immense selection of ROMs and found I had picked The Incredible Crash Dummies.
"Please kill us" says the dummies "for we have been forced into a shitty PSA disguised as a game."
So first thing I notice, is that it seems to have quite a few bits of "buckle your seatbelt" shit. Right away, this has me disliking the game. A game should be about gaming, not public service announcements.
No! FUck you bitch! I choose not to listen to your propaganda!
On to playing... To start, you seem to be a crash test dummy on a unicycle... very strange. The background actually seems to be pretty smooth, though perhaps lacking a little in detail, but the character, items, and enemies all look pretty shitty to me. SO graphicly, I'll give it 2 out of five.
Our protagonist vs a bouncing tire and... some tank thing. Thrilling.
The play sounds are rather generic, mostly the standard assortment of beeps, bips, and boops. Really not a game you'd like much, if you like great sound effects. The music though, I find perhaps just a little catchy, though it does become rather repetitive rather quickly. The music, I find makes up for the playsounds, and earns this part 3/5.
Beware the almighty giant thumbtack of doom!
And on to play... To start, I guess you're supposed to collect roadcones for extra points. PLaying with the buttons, I find that you're able to jump and shoot... something. If it were coming from the opposite side if the dummy, I'd say it was farting or something. Well... maybe it's some sort of special pussyfart attack... anyway...
Behold! The Noxious pussyfart attack, with it's amazing power to scramble sprites!
Before much longer, I purposely hit something, just to see what happens. The effect, I find to be rather annoying, as I'm sent spinning all the way back to the beginning of the level and explode.
FUcking tank thing... I will have my revenge!
So continuing on, I manage to make it past more shit, and meet up with the evil blue rocket skating dummy. Somehow, I feel much less than terrified by any of the enemies in this game. At this point, I'm tempted to give up and heed the urge to play a game that I already know is good.
Oh no! The blue rocket skate dummy! save me!
I manage to get a bit further, and eventually run out of lives. I'm unhappy at this, though in a way, muchly relieved. The actual playing of the game... I found the control to be just a bit difficult, particularly in the slight delay of actions produced by the A and B buttons, often turning it into luck over skill, when trying to freeze enemies with your attacks. Directional control was a bit better, though often reminded me of the ice levels in Super Mario Bros. Overall, a 3/5, I think, not terrible, but not impossible either.
After my short bout of playing this game, I decide to play something else I like much more. But that's a store for another day.
Download The Incredible Crash Dummies
<---Back to Snake People: NES Masters