BOY AND HIS BLOB
TROUBLE IN BLOBLONIA
BY : Jocko The Wicked Clown!
Take a REAL good look at the entire Map of this game!
OK WELL HERE WE GO!
STEP ONE:
DONT MOVE! NOW SCROLL THROUGH YOUR BEANS TILL YOU FIND TANGERINE NOW FEED THIS TO YOUR BLOB.
STEP TWO:
NOW GET ON TRAMPOLINE AND HOLD UP.......DO SO UNTILL ABOUT SIX SCREENS UP.
STEP THREE:
WHISTLE!............................
STEP FOUR:
DIE- NOW LOOK AT THE EXPRESSION ON THE BLOBS FACE, WASNT THAT FUN!
OK NOW FOR REAL
OK FIRST OF JUST GO RIGHT TILL YOU SEE THE STAIRS. GO DOWN THEM. NOW YOUR DOWN HERE JUST PICK SOME NICE AREA AND GIVE YOUR BLOB THE PUNCH.
FALL THROUGH THE HOLE AND BOOYA! NOW YOUR DOWN......FURTHER. MAKE SURE TO MOVE BEFORE WHISTLING OR ELSE YOU MAY FALL AND MISS THE SHINYS. GO LEFT BACK TO THE SHINYS
YOU SAW AND USE LADDER TO GET THEM. NOW GO RIGHT TILL YOU SEE THE TRACKS IN THE BACKGROUND AND USE HOLE AGAIN.
DONT GO TOO FAR, THERE IS A HOLE AT THE END THAT WILL KILLYOU.NOWGOLEFTFIRST UNTIL YOU GET TO SCREEN WITH SHINYS
...... DOGE CATAPILLER AND GRAB EM. NOW GO BACK RIGHT USE UMBRELLA AND JUM OFF EDGE. GRAB THE SHINIES.
GIVE THE DAMN BLOB SOME CINNAMON (ONLY TIME IN THE GAME YOU NEED IT) AND BURN THROUGH THE WEB. THESE NEXT TO SCREENS ARE NAUGHTY (I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT BEING KILLED BY GIANT COCO PUFFS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE)
NOW USE UMBRELLA AND WALK UNDER THE ROCKS...NO RUNNING....UNTIL YOUR ALL THROUGH. NOW IF YOU DIED A LOT TRYING THAT YOU SHOULDA USED COLA...I LIED.
NOW USE BRIDGE GO UNDER THE CATAPILLER AND GRAB THE FUCKING SHINIES.
JUMP DOWN THAT HOLE. GO RIGHT DOWN TWO LEDGES AND TRAMPALINE UP TO THAT LONE SHINY.
GO DOWN AROUND UNDER THE CATAPILLER AND OVER THE HOLE AND HOOK UP WITH MORE SHINYS
GO BACK AND DOWN THE HOLE. RIGHT AND UP IS SOME SHINYS.
NOW YOUR PROBABLY LIKE "I'm stuck down here with nowhere to go!"......OH YA WELL........WRONG! USE THE FUCKING HOLE.
ONCE DOWN THERE GO RIGHT: AND OFF THE EDGE GET AND A BUBBLE AND THEN LEFT IN THE WATER AND LOOK AT THE FUCKING CAVE TEETH FOR A FEW HOURS........IF YOU WANNA WAST TIME AND BEANS.
OR LEFT: UP THE LEDGE AND LOOK UP, THATS WERE YOUR GOING. USE A TRAMP AND JUMP UP ABOUT 3 OR FOUR SCREENS TILL YOU SEE THE TWO HOLES ON THE LEFT.GO IN THE BOTTOM ONE, GRAB THE SHINYS
LADDER UP GRAB MORE SHINYS.
NOW FALL BACK DOWN, PREFERABLY WITH THE UMBRELLA, NOT UP. NOW GO LEFT AND USE BUBBLE BEFOR GOING OFF THE EDGE, UNLESS YOU LIKE TO SWIM, NOW YOUR IN THE WATER.GO DOWN THAT HOLE AND FIND AN ASSLOAD OF SHINYS, SIX TO THE RIGHT WICH ARE SHINYS
OH AND THIS ONE IS OVER THERE WICH IS REAL HARD TO GET DOWN IN SOME STALAGMIGHTS, DANGEROUS SHINYS.
THERE IS ALSO ONE LONE SHINY
TO THE LEFT. GO BACK TO THE SURFACE AND PROCEDE LEFT AND OUT OF THE WATER. LADER YOURSELF UP AND GET KILLED BY THE CATAPILLER. FROM HERE GO RIGHT TILL YOU SEA THE HOLE IN THE CELING. TRAMP UP AND TO THE FIRST LEFT YOU WILL SEE A SAC OF JELLY BEANS, THIS ALSO COUNTS AS SHINYS
NOW GO BACK TO YOUR TRAMP AND GO ALL THE WAY UP AND IN THE LITTLE HOLE TO THE RIGHT THERE ARE SOME SHINYS
OVER THERE. GO BACK RIGHTAND OVER THE HOLE. LADDER YOURSELF UP GO RIGHT DO IT AGAIN NOW LEFT AND WHIP OUT THE TANGERINE. TRAMP UP TO THE LONE SHINY
THEN GO RIGHT OFF THE TRAMP AND KEEP GOING . UP THE LEDGE (IGNORE THE HOLE IN THE CELING!) AND RIGHT AGAIN. YOU WILL SEE A CATAPILLER GUARDING A SWEET SHINY
GRAB IT AND LADDER UP OR DIE EITHER ONE WORKS. NOW YOU CAN GO IN THAT HOLE. JUST LADDER UP TILL ITS ALL BLUE AGAIN AND GET ON THE TOP PATH. GO LEFT AND YOU WILL SEE ANOTHER BAG OF BEANS ( THIS ONE IS ALL YOU REALY NEEDED FROM DOWN HERE, IT HAS THE ORANGE AND LIME BEANS....REAL IMPORTANT), THIS BAG ALSO COUNTS AS A SHINY!
NOW YOU HAVE ALL THE SHINYS! OK GET THE STUPID ASS BLOB UNDER THE HOLE IN THE CELING AND USE APPLE=JACK FOR SOME HAPPY FUN TIME.
LADDER UP AND YOUR ALL DONE WITH EARTH. WELL ALMOST NOW GO ALL THE WAY RIGHT TILL YOU GET TO THE DRUG STORE AND HOOK IT UP WITH SOME NOSE CANDY, OR VITAMINS WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
NEXT USE SOME ROOT BEER ON THE LITTLE FUCK BALL AND ROCKET YOUR WAY TO BLOBLONIA.
OK NOW THOSE SILLY ASS SNOWFLAKE THINGS YOU SAW… FORGET EM ALL THEY DO IS GIVE YOU POINTS AND THAT MEENS EXTRA LIVES AND IF YOUR LIKE ME(GOD) YOU WONT NEED MORE.NOW IF YOU CONTINUE RIGHT YOU WILL RUN INTO SOME MARSHMELLOWS, CHERRYS AND POPCORN.
TO GET THREW THIS HELL YOU CAN SHOVE AN ORANGE DOWN HIS DAMN THROUT AND MAKE HIM A VITABLASTER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
OR YOU CAN DO IT THE EASY WAY AND TURN BLOB INT A COCONUT AND THROW HIS ROUND ASS AS FAR AS YOU CAN (MAKE SURE SCREEN FOLLOWS BLOB) BECAUSE ONCE BLOB PASSES A SCREEN THE STUFF GOES AWAY TADA! NOW YOUR JUST WALKIN DOWN THE CORN FIELD RIGHT THINKING WELL “IM GLAD THERE ARNT ANY RIDICULUSLY LARGE PIECES OF CORN ALL UP IN MY” WAY WHEN BAM THERE IT IS.
NOW GO INTO THE BUILDING AND MAKE SOME TRAP RIGHT ON THE SECOUND LINE AND JUMP UP ONTO THE CANDYCANE.
NOW YOUR UP HERE DON’T MOVE JUST WHISTLE AND SWITCH TO HONEY.TURN TWORDS THE EDGE AND THROW IT BLOB WILL BE ALL HAPPY AND FLY UP TO YA. THEN GO RIGHT AND FLIP THE SWITCH TO OFF.
OK WET AN UMBRELLA AND JUMP OFF TO THE RIGHT. NOW DOES THIS LOOK FAMILIAR? TAKE A GUESS WHAT TO DO. WELL WHEN YOU JUMP OFF THE TOP OF THE NEXT GUY YOU WILL NOTICE SOMETHING REALY WEIRD. YOU ARE NO LONGER IN THE BUILDING, BETTER YET NOT EVEN THE SAME ENVIRONMENT OR TIME OF DAY WHAT THE FUCK?… OH WELL.
NOW GO UP IN THE CAVE AND WALK TILL YOU SEE THE TEETH. GO BACK A SCREEN AND PULL THE COCONUT TRICK TO THE RIGHT. JUST STOP THE BLOB BEFORE HE FALLS IN THE HOLE. THEN ON THE SCREEN BEFORE THE HOLE USE A PUNCH.
THEN GO TO THE RIGHT AND PULL THE DUMB SWITCH,
GO BACK TO THE HOLE AND USE LADDER TO GO UP, THEN TO THE RIGHT AND BRIDGE UP OVER THE HOLE PASS UP SOME MORE TEETH AND THEN YOU WILL NOTICE SOME CUTE GINGERBREAD MEN DOSNT THAT CHEER YOU UP.
OK NOW SEE THAT KEY IN THE WALL NOW I WONDER HOW IM GOING TO OPEN THAT? LETS LOOK THROUGH OUR BEANS FOR A SEC… HUMM LIME? I NEVER USED THIS BEFORE LIME=KEY? OH KEYLIME GET IT KEYLIME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
FUCK GOD!
NOW LETS GO INTO THIS DOOR HERE AND…. WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID BLOB GET IN THE CAGE AND WHY CANT I GET PAST THE DAMN ROCK.
WAIT A SEC IT LOOKS LIKE THAT BIG GREY THING HAS HIS OWN STASH OF NOSE CANDY LETS FEED BLOB A JCK AND WHATCH THE SHIT HIT THE FAN.
WOW HERES THE END WELL IM THE SAVIOR OF A PLANET FULL OF MARSHMELLOWS BEING RULED BY THE MICHALIN MAN
-THE END-
